What to expect when raising a family
I know there are many serious articles out there about rearing a family. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by the significance of this, that we forget that it should be beautiful and fun so this light-hearted approach about what to expect when raising a family is just the thing to brighten up a busy day.
Disclaimer: This is not meant to be taken seriously, the following information is purely for entertainment value only. As a mother myself, I had a real chuckle when I read this and thought that it was just too good not to post.
Hope you enjoy.
Discovering you are pregnant
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes – a bit of a scary thought!
Preparing for the Birth :
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month
The Baby clothes :
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, colour co-ordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little cupboard.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when the wails threaten to wake your first born.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and sterilize it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Nappy changing :
1st baby: You change your baby’s nappies every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out :
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home :
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins :
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
So now, with tongue in cheek, you now know what to expect when raising a family 🙂
Oh and by the way…..
GRANDCHILDREN: God’s reward for allowing your own children to live!
Yours in Health